For Widows Only Forum

i want to run away from everything sometimes
the decisions , responsibilities
I want to run back to where he used to be
and have him hold me
I want to cry in his arms
I want to go back and not fwd
without him
how do I move on when every day seems like more of a burden than a joy
I want to go and have peace
and love and laughter again
and fear that will never happen again

Please know your not alone. I understand how your feeling as this is my daily fight with myself. I move on each day only with the knowledge that it is what my husband would want and expect of me. We have to honor them by living the life they would have wanted for us and keeping their memories alive. Looking forward is so hard but with time I pray it will get easier or at least less painful for all of us. Come here and read and post often knowing that we all are here for you. Hope you have one moment today that makes you smile and even more in the days to come.

I want to run away every day - but I don't know where to run too. You can't run away from what has happened to you. You were a wife and now you are a widdow. It hurts and there is nothing you can do to change what has happened. You will hurt more than you can imagine and you will survive - even though you you might wish differently! You will feel good one moment. You will wake up each day wondering if you can get through the day without a melt down and most days you will be OK. You will be able to deal with stupid questions on how you are coping and become a great actress. It is a trip that has ups and downs but you become stronger as you move along. It isn't easy but you get there. I wish you hope! Cindy

My only question to you Grief is just where are you gonna run to? He's still gonna be gone...I tried that last summer. I decided to visit one of his sisters and maybe some other relatives of Jim's up north....I spent more time and money in the Casinos alone than anything. His sister was not much help with my grief and I never did see any others. So I came home early. I picked up the puppy from the vet where I boarded her and headed home. Oh and all the while I cried alot...and I didn't win anything. I sure wasn't ready for that trip....