For Widows Only Forum

It's not even a date...just to hang. But I was a nervous wreck. I've not seen a movie with another man in 15 years. I've not wondered how an evening will end in 15 years. I've not imagined what a kiss or heavens forbid, sex, with another man would be like for 15 years. I feel like I'm in high school. It's ridiculous to have to feel all these emotions at 42!

Yet it's somewhat exciting. How conflicting.

Wow Kelly, I can only imagine. I am 40, and with the same guy 20 of those. I haven't tried to date yet. I think I would be a nervous wreck as well. I married so young, I didn't even have much practice before I met my sweetie.

But hey! You did it! Congratulations!

Kelly,
I know how you feel. It is 2 years now since I lost my love and I feel I am ready to look again but don't know how. How do you trust again and feel that comfortable with someone and get to know their quirks and habits? It's downright terrifying! Let us know how it goes.

it hasnt even bean a month yet, dateing isnt the word i ever wanted to ponder. but as you wrote ( just to hang ), a simple conversation with another human. all i have around me is my parents and some inlaws that are slowly backing away. do any of you feel like you are cheating by just thinking about it? i do. my wife and i always did everything together, just the two of us. its bean 13 years since i ( just hung ) with anyone else. not even sure if i can interact with anyone else. and as i know that months turn into years and years into decades, i dont know if i can give my heart away again. so dateing would be wrong on my part. id be using someone, and i dont want to be that kind of person. and then again, being lonely is difficult also.

Just hang here with us for awhile, cgotti. You'll know when it's time to move on...guilt-free.

You're right, you will know when it's time. A few months isn't even enough time to process all of the emotions you're feeling cgotti. Don't be so hard on yourself. The loneliness is difficult. I'm grateful my son is still home with me and that makes it easier for me. You still feel the emptiness of realizing that the person who loved you more than anyone else is no longer here and it makes you feel a little less special in this world. That's where I lean on God alot to make me stronger and He has done that. Hang in there cgotti, it does get better. It just takes time. Don't rush yourself. Take care of yourself.

I went on vacation last month and met a really great guy who I hung out with for a few days. (I was at a resort).

In addition to being pretty hot, which was very flattering, he was also a really interesting guy. After two days, he went in for a kiss. I tried, but just couldn't even get through the kiss. It's funny, when I am alone in my house, or travelling for business, I think it would be nice to meet someone and actually date. Well, I dipped my toe in the water and yanked it right back out. It was a nice wake-up call, letting me know I am way not ready. It was quite a surprise. I just really think I wasn't meant to be alone.

I don't think I'm meant to be alone either. It's little delicious distractions like these and dreamy thoughts of what might come next that keep me above water and moving along. I'm looking forward to a kiss to see if I'm ready...whenever that may be.

I have dreamy thought too. Especially since I am watching the Bachelor right now.