For Widows Only Forum

hi, my name is Ellie, I became a widow at 21 years old, just over 3 months ago. I'm 22 now and have a 3 year old son.

My husband took his own life. that day my heart and soul was ripped out of my chest, and about fifty million bricks fell on me. I had to plan my husbands funeral, write and read his eulogy, hold it together and go back to uni. now my uni semester has finished and i am not looking after myself or my son as well as i should be. im not ok and i can't hold it together.

I don;t know if i am very ready to talk about it all yet, i don't see how it can help, how can anything help? meanwhile my body is falling apart and ive become quite ill since he passed away.


sorry for the dramatic intro :S it would just be a little comforting to chat to a few people who knows what this feels like.

My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what you are going through. I am a widow of just over one year now. I don't know if this will help you, but try to find a group in your area to talk to. People are really caring. You would be surprised to find out how many people have had similar experiences and are willing to help.
In the meantime you should really see your family doctor and get some help. You need to be able to take care of your child. I'm sure you already know this but I find it helps to have someone else tell you as well. Please take care of yourself.
You sound like a really strong person being able to go back and finish your year at university. You can do this.

Hi there,
I'm new to forums, but I'm desperate too. My husband killed himself 3 weeks ago. He was a police officer and he shot himself in the head. We have 3 children age 15, 9 and 5. I have no idea how I'm going to cope. I'm so sick... Every morning I wake up and beg to god that this is a dream. The first two weeks weren't so bad.. I had a funeral to arrange and millions of people to talk to. Now everyone has gone back to their lives. I'm not sure what to say to you, as I know that nothing really helps. I find it reassuring to know that I'm not alone and that people really do survive after tragedies. You aren't alone either! I lost my mother to suicide 13 years ago. I really didn't think I would survive back then... I am still alive! I have to live for my children. As much as I would like to check out, I can't. It has only been 3 weeks, I've quit my job and Uni. I don't know what I am going to do? My children need me. PLEASE know that there are other people out there. If you are in Sydney, there is a group that I am going to on Sept. 7th (Support after suicide). We have 2 options... Lay down and die... OR live for our children. One day at a time... 1 minute at a time. I'll be there for you if you need to talk. I'm desperate too!

I can only say I am a child of a father that accidently commited sucide by mixing meds, my mom was 25, and had 4 of us, today she is 75 and has her life experience of faith to help us to learn from her.
I know of several in our area so will tell their tales :
my husbands cousin had her father go out to a field and choose to end his life by gas exhaust, the lost her 18 year old daughter the same way at home, she came home from a party
and went into the garage upset about a boy...
today my husbands cousin leads be, she had her spouse die as well of illness.
one day my spouse was on the mail route, and a friend of mine lori was home with her kids, and her husband was outside,
my husband said hi, and then walked off with the mail down the route, and heard the gunshot.. he had shot himself in front of his kids..
we had a new truck and he parked it down the street from the post office, came over to me at our business at noon, and told me someone has wrecked his truck in a hit and run, we went out the next night and another couple was talking of a sucide in town, he had been engaged to staci who was expecting their child, lost his job, had got a no at the bank, and came home after running into our truck, I told stacy we could of worked things out...I cried so hard at the funeral..stacy is remarried, now after having her baby, and has 2 little girls, but recently had trouble with a baby boy, he passed away at mayo, 4mths old.

in a way when my spouse stopped taking his blood pressure pills I felt he was commiting sucide, and told him so, he did it twice but went back on...
then died of a massive heart attack.

the one most recent here was a murder /sucide,
of a acquaintance of mine, she has a 14 year old daughter, had been divorced, been in and out of abusive relationships, had actually lived with the man for 7 years, then got married to him,
her daughter would not live with them, they went out to the bar, came home, and he shot her, then himself, both families were devastaded, and both funerals were the same day, I could only go to hers, I couldnt handle his, and his mom goes to my church...
she takes care of his 3 year old grandchild from his former relationship

life feels sureal , and goes on for everyone else, in loss there is like a giant stop sign, and everyone is driving past you,
while you sit there , unable to move,

but some how must find the strength to step on the pedal and
go again on the road of life journey..

mayo clinic has some brief notes for surviing famiies dealing wth a sucide, to help.. found one web site, go to www.//survivingsucide.com/bereaved.htn -god bless.