For Widows Only Forum

When this horrible new life started I searched every bookstore I could find looking for some words that could somehow touch me and give me some lifeline. Sometimes I found things that really helped, my favorite, "I cannot lost him by giving him back to you anymore than you lost him when you gave him to me."
I hold on to that.
Yesterday I saw part of a movie and the woman had lost her husband and was interested in a new man. She said she could not continue the relationship because she felt she was choosing someone over her husband. The reply was, whether it is this man or a new man a year or so down the road you are not choosing someone over your husband, you don't have that choice. You weren't given a choice, he is gone. You can't make that choice.
Those words may be the ones that touch someone, I hope so.
I hope you all find today less painful.
Katie

Katie,

That is so true, we were not given a choice. But we have a choice now to move forward in healing and later down the road when we reflect back that will be one fact that I think will make a difference, at least for me, opposed to dealing with divorce. That's just my thinking now though and one thing I am learning --my thinking is subject to change...sometimes in the same day! ;) But one thing that never changes is I KNOW, in time, I will make it through, we ALL will!

Very realistic words, Katiends. Thanks for posting them. I know they won't suit everybody, but even tonight, when I'm feeling really sad like I haven't felt in quite a while and crying lots of tears, I still know I have a choice about how I try to live my life. I also know that tomorrow will be better.

Marla
Husband Ron died July 31, 2009

We are surprised by how many days we haven't cried and still felt connected to them then suddenly we are blindside by incredible grief, you are in one of those days, I did it all last week. I felt like my being was surrounded by glass shards and I was constantly touched by pain. Just a reminder that we still hurt and we need to acknowledge it and go along for another ride. The joy and the love and the incredible connection will be there again at the end of this. I am now feeling the goodness of us. I love us!
I hope you get to the goodness again soon.
Katie

I came across this topic and suprisingly I just read words that jumped out at me and I wanted share.
"I used to be contented often to be alone - sometimes to prefer it. Let me not fall so under the spell of grief that my imagination has no room for being alone and contented now."
I struggle with being content. Jim died 10/5/07, very suddenly and sometimes I feel there will never be closure for me. I am in the process of trying to sell the house. The mortgage payment is draining my savings. The thoughts of packing this house up is overwhelming, but it is time to move on, simplify my life. It boggles my mind all the STUFF we seem to accumulate, needless to say the task is daunting.
have a peaceful day
Mary

I just want to say it's been nine months for me and I have cried every single day since he died....not as many tears and not as often now. Sometimes I think I cry in frustration. Here is just a part of a poem thar was used at Jim's funeral. Remember me in your heart, your thoughts and your memories, of the times we fought, the times we laughed,for if you always think of me,I will never be gone. It's the end of the poem Remember me. It always makes me tear up.

a couple thing i found

words that might help

in loves service only broken hearts will do

accrostic for Try

T- Trust always believe
There is a way
R- reach , reach out in all directions around you, make new discoveries, create new interests, new friends
y- yield
yield yourself to Gods will
God wants your life to glorify HIM
sing a new song, to glory to him alone
ask seek knock receive


grief is not a prblem to be solved
or a disorder to be cured
its is a process to be lived.